21 posts from 2008

why should someone join the mississippi teacher corps?

that's really difficult to answer.

i normally like to take a lot of time and effort into writing these blogs.  but i feel that if i do that, i would simply be over-analyzing the situation.  there are some immediate thoughts  that come to mind and, however small they may be, they are the reasons that make me stay.  they help me realize that each and every day is a great day to get better.

in joining the mississippi teacher corps, you have a lot of chances…

a chance to do something meaningful...if only for a short time, if only in a small capacity.

a chance to change lives...if only a few, and only in a small way.

a chance to find out who you are...if only through trial by fire, or through emergency situations.

a chance to meet people...if it's the clerk at the piggly wiggly, or a concerned parent trying to help his child succeed.

a chance to experience new things...if it's just watching an inner-city high school drumline, or listening to the phrase “on today” fourteen times during morning announcements.

a chance to shape futures...if it's just helping fill out an ACT packet, or teaching someone how to shake hands.

a chance to explore your own passions...if it’s teaching shakespeare, or helping out with the science fair.

a chance to understand yourself...if it's through emotional outbursts, or long nights of contemplating critical issues.

and a chance to meet friends...who may become family...

so why should you join the mississippi teacher corps?

because you have a chance.

my first semester of teaching...whirlwind.

i think because we went straight from teaching, had about 5 days off, and then started at our "real" jobs.  that meant my mom coming in from indiana; making one horrible, argument-filled, rainy trip to jackson with all my stuff ...including my mother; unpacking all of my belongings; trying to buys stuff i needed with the non-existent money i had; unsucessfully trying to get all my paperwork done before school started; trying to get situated in a new city; saying goodbye to my mom for the last time, and...being on my own.  then we had to show up at school.

in the beginning, things were shaky - no one had answers to anything, and i had tons of questions.  then i started learning WHO to ask and HOW to ask them.  i started getting answers and information, and i was really getting a feel for the school.  i liked the personalities of the people at school, and i started opening up and taking all the advice i could.

i hated being observed, being "watched" by someone.  i took every comment as personal criticism...until i realized they were a blessing.  i would have gone crazy if i didn't listen to the things that were suggested and the ideas people presented to me.

my kids started opening up, i started opening up to the teachers and administrators around me, and teaching became ENJOYABLE.  i don't know if i would say rewarding...not until recently did i realize what that felt like.  i have a class of english  II re-testers.  for three of them (out of nineteen), it's the one thing that's keeping them from graduating.  one of my boys, J, has a really severe behavioral issue.  he's been in capital city twice, and come back to try to graduate.  he's almost 20, and just wants to get out.  he works at a hotel nearby between 20 and 25 hours a week.  he lives with his older brother, as his mom is in rehab and his dad...well, ran away a long time ago.  a week before the fall re-test, his brother got shot twice in the chest, leaving him completely alone.  i had moved him to the back desk - cuba, not the bahamas - to sit with me in october because of his outbursts.  he had grown to like the seat and enjoy the proximity of me so that he could ask questions and get help without other students noticing, and he had trusted me with a lot of his story.  i was really worried he was going to shut down, but one day in class he asked to talk to me.  he told me that it was motivation for him to get out and never have to live the way his brother did.  i got the test scores back on tuesday morning.  to pass english II, you need a 645.  he got a 648.

this semester i've beaten myself up, stressed myself out, shoved a pie in a kids face, looked for answers, located dozens of rolls of tissue for my kids, clotheslined kids for not tucking their shirts in (okay, just two), argued with other teachers, ate cafeteria, waited with kids until their rides arrived, wiped away tears, found excuses, found enemies, found allies, but at the end of it all, i think i found (as corny as this sounds) hope.  i feel like i've really come to understand the school, the students, and their community.  now all i can do is work my ass off to instill  discipline, a sense of purpose, and the importance of education into these kids.

that's probably the hard part, isn't it?

so i want to react to the payne book...but i want to react to reactions of the payne book.  most of my teachers at lanier went to jackson state university.  many of them read ruby payne's book as a part of their undergrad study.  and those who read the book definitely had something to say about it.

soooo...the biggest issue right now is adapting to the different moods of the classes.  i had planned to work on writing with my kids for the next two weeks.  however, after i looked at more of their "writing" thus far, i realized that it would be better to expose them to reading good writing, rather than trying to produce sub-par samples.  so i had chosen to read "the most dangerous game" with them over the next 4-5 class periods, doing different activities and reading styles each day.  the fact that my methods class included a section on "the most dangerous game" was pretty amazing.  so i planned to do the baffle bag and "who am i?" activities with them before we actually started reading.  first run-through: am-A-zing.  probably the best class i've had all year.  they participated, they were extremely well-behaved, they stayed focused, got really engaged into the material.  they took notes during the activity.  how crazy is that?  then when we read, i had at least 8 or 9 kids volunteer to read, out of a class of 22 remedial students, which i thought was pretty interesting.  they stayed focused during the reading, and they stayed focused during the writing activity after.  it was great.

then my last block of the day.  attempt #2.  pretty much...if i said went down in flames, i don't think that would explain it.  they wouldn't stay focused, they constantly had to comment on what other people were saying, they wouldn't participate, and they were just genuinely not engaged in the activity.  i quieted them down twice as a class, and then decided it was enough.  specific students were going through my consequences like fire and then getting my "i'm done with you for right now" comment, which means they've gone through all my consequences and the next step is a referral.  that stops their behavior altogether (detention doesn't do it to a lot of students), but the damage was done.  the class as a whole had been distracted, and was no longer on the train to literacy.  so...proofreading worksheet time.  i told them if we couldn't explore good examples of the written word together, then they were going to explore bad examples of the written word on their own, and be graded for it.  i was worried about the "good" kids getting angry, since this was the THIRD time this year that block has been punished as a class.  but the "good" kids kept doing work, silently, and diligently.  i finally told J with 5 minutes left in class that i didn't have any more worksheets - he had done six pages - and that he could sit quietly until i was done with them.  the kids that had detentions and behavior forms/parent phone calls are repeat offenders, and didn't seem to get the picture.  until i yelled.  i didn't really yell, but i definitely raised my voice when i held two of them after class.  and after that, once they left, i cried.  i don't raise my voice at these kids, they don't need that.  everyone else in their life yells at them - "family", teachers, coaches...i had made a promise to myself that i wasn't going to do that.  and i did.  it got the point across - this wasn't a dialogue about their behavior.  they had acted completely inappropriately, and they would be punsihed accordingly.

and i've gone on to blocks 1 and 2 today with the same results.  block two was good, just chatty.  block one couldn't handle it, so i got upset and punished them.  it's not a hard concept - be quiet and ask appropriate questions.  be respectful to yourself and others, and stay on task.  asking if i, as a character, "got a donk?", is not appropriate, not really all that funny, and simply results in a parent call, a behavior form, and extra work for you class.

well done, jackass.

haha, so to follow up on the good feeling i had last night...fourth block on A days tends to be a little rowdy.  they don't raise hands, they talk out, and they talk to each other.  problem is, they're interested in the material.  as soon as there are restrictions presented, they shut down.  if i tell them to stop talking, they stop.  but then i ask a question, and they get all fired up.  who would've thought they would argue over the differences of a metaphor versus a simile?  right.  well, they did.

anyway, i have two new kids come in to my fourth block.  one is a boy who just hasn't come to class yet, but he's got his schedule.  another one is a shadester who doesn't have a schedule, just a sticky note with his courses on it, from the counselor (good work).  he sits down in a seat that is someone else's, i ask him to move as the class is doing work, and he just looks confused so i let it go.  i start my discussion with the class, and he asks to go to the bathroom.  i ignore his question and continue with the discussion.  in the middle of talking about literary terms, he starts to look confused and raises his hand.  i figure he actually has a question, so i call on him.  he says, "can i go turn my homework in to another teacher?" and i said "excuse me?"  the class gets completely silent, and a couple of the girls make a soft "ooooo"  - meaning i was in full-out teacher mode.  "can i go turn my homework in to another teacher?"  "on your own time, sure.  during my class? no.  this is my time."  everyone looks at him, then back at me.  i continue to teach, not paying attention to him.  he stands up, i tell him to take his seat.  he starts to move toward the door, i move over to meet him.  "if you put that hand on the knob, you might as well just go down to mr. lewis' office."  he ignores me, opens the door.  i just go over to the button, press it.  about 8 seconds later (i was pleasantly surprised) i get a voice, "yes ms. cooke - is everything okay?"  i just inform them that v. has felt the need to get some fresh air and chose to leave my class, so he should be wandering down their way soon enough, or if mr. lewis wanted to go pick him up, i'd appreciate it.  little bit of a giggle, and then, "okay, thanks ms. cooke."

ohhhh, the winds of change are coming, my friends.  is that an unexcused?

follow-up: my little deviant earned himself three days out-of-school for that episode.  he didn't even make it down the hall before one of the assistant principals found him and took him to the office.  nice.

there's something nerve-wracking about the idea of calling someone's parent to tell them how their kid was being an ass in your classroom.  no one wants to hear that.  but i know my mom got those calls plenty of times.  like when i felt it necessary in pre-K to tell everyone that santa wasn't real.  and in second grade when i told people that the easter bunny was a joke, and that your parents were actually hiding the egg.  or in fourth grade when i erased the discipline chart every day before lunch.  or in seventh grade when i would take my conduct marks back from my teacher while she was doing reading exercises with other kids.  or in high school, when i would replace the teacher's editions with my books, and have their copy in my bookbag, completely confused as to how it got there.  or when i thought it was funny to put rubber snakes in the pool before lifeguarding class.

but that's neither here nor there.  because i'm a grown-up now.  and i'm completely and utterly profesh at all times.

except when i had to make parent phone calls.  and it wasn't the beginning of the year "hello, i'm ms. cooke.  your student is in my learning strategies class this year..." pitch i had been planning.  it was more along the lines of "your kid did everything possible BUT breaking one of my rules.  and it drove me nuts."  but first, i had to find better words.  pick out the behaviors that the student had exhibited that were justifying the phone call.  well, six phone calls, rather.  so i did.  i noted everything they had done in class.  and i made it in checklist format so that i could make sure i covered all my bases on the phone call.  some cell numbers were the actual numbers of the student, not the parent or guardian.  but about thirty minutes later, i had reached all but one parent, and i had left a message for her to please call me back at her convenience.  each and every parent i talked to was completely willing to listen, understanding, and promised to speak with their student about the behavior.  though i didn't do the "compliment sandwich" style - it was too early in the year to be able to come up with honest comments about the kids, after all, i've only had them twice up to this point - i did make sure to point out that this was merely precaution on my part.  i just wanted to nip things in the bud before they became a problem.  and every parent asked the same thing - that i stay in contact with them throughout the term, to let me know how the behavior was progressing (or digressing, for that matter). 

i think i hit it big with the responses that i got.  from other second-years and old wizards in the program, this reaction isn't very likely.  perhaps it's because it's early in the year.  perhaps it's because i'm a new teacher.  perhaps it's because i wasn't calling home to complain, just to see if this was a regular behavior, or if it could be the seating arrangement, or if something else was going on with the student.  i'm not sure what it was.  all i know is that when i heard the appreciation in those voices over the phone, and i hung up, i finally felt like a teacher.  and you know what?  i danced.  just a little bit.  for celebration.

i think i have a tendency to over-react.  so far, nothing has gone horrendously wrong.  but school hasn't really started yet.  the teachers at my school have been amazing.  they've given me advice i wasn't expecting, especially from some horror stories about veteran teachers who couldn't care less that we were there.  

most of the time, adjustments are comfortable, slow, and expected.

i think this summer has been pretty solid, all around.  i feel like i've answered this question a number of times by this point, but i still have stuff to say.

i feel pretty good about my second video for teaching.  i'll first re-visit some of the mistakes or things i noticed in june, and then some of the things i noticed this time around.