could we please have this instead of the ed research class?
the conversation with rita bender was pretty...sweet, to say the least. i talk A LOT, most of the time unnecessarily, during our meetings and classes. but with this, i really didn't want to. i wanted to sit back and take it in.
there were a lot of misunderstood feelings, i feel. maybe that wasn't the case. as a poor soul from the north, i have this overwhelming curiosity to see how the south has dealt with (or hasn't dealt with) the seemingly still-ongoing results of two races that have been in conflict for such a long time.
it's not that i think there is racism in the south and not in the north. it's not that i think that the south doesn't know how to deal with different races. it's not that i think that the north wasn't affected by slavery or the civil rights movement.
i guess...i've just been surrounded by a lot of different races and cultures my entire life. in my hometown, there is a large population of central and south americans, eastern europeans, and asians. my students always want to know if my high school was "like this"...meaning, was it 100% white. i try to explain to them that no, it wasn't, there were a lot of different people, and that it's not really 100% anything around me.
then i saw the movie "crash" and i thought, that's like where i'm from. there's present racism, in all types of forms. it may be subtle, it may never be recognized, it may be outright...but it's between a lot of different groups. there's no more tension between whites and blacks than there exists between panamanians and dominicans.
when i came here, i think that's the first thing that really caught my attention. there is a distinct pressure, at least from my personal experience (that's all i have to offer), between whites and blacks. a lot of my students have really never been around white people for an extended period of time. when i go out with teachers, it draws some stares. i've had a couple friends come over to walk around the neighborhood and even had one of my (white) neighbor-men ask if everything was okay. i didn't understand until he walked away and my friend nudged me and said, "he was worried because you were walking around with a black man." it's always said with a giggle or a little smile. i'll be addressed as "white girl" with a smile or called the "light-skinned ms. cooke" with a wink, but there's something behind that.
the conversation with mrs. bender really was something i wanted to listen to. i want and need to understand all of this. the history, the progression (or lack thereof) to where we are today. i feel that the topics we began to open up, the heated debate and discussion we had, the feelings that were laid out on the table...i want to go back to that.
please please please let's do this again.
